Monday 13 July 2009

It snot good

I am a ball of green snot, cloaked in flesh.

That kind of precludes any pedal time this week, since my lung capacity is about 50% of normal. I am seriously considering attaching a straw to a squeezy bottle full of water, sticking the straw up each nostril and thence attempting to clean out the cavities betwixt my ear'oles.

I've always found the best cure for immovable mucous is a quick dip in an ocean full of pounding waves. Nothing like getting dumped whilst body surfing to ram a few litres of ice cold salt water up the snoz. That generally does the trick. You know it's working when fish start surfacing around you to eat the balls of snot that are drifting around in pools of goo that make the Exxon Valdez look like the aftermath of sneezing whilst topping up the engine oil.

The problem is that it takes 2-3 days for the testes to descend after a swim at this time of year.

3 comments:

kc said...

Tough decision. Glad it's yours, not mine, I've got a sinus headache for 5 days but think it may be a new allergy.

Take care. A bit of peppermint tea might help?

Margo's Maid said...

50 per cent? Loooxury.

Mehaul said...

You want the Exxon Valdez and low testes. You can't have everything, which is why God gave us colds in winter. Get better.