Wednesday 11 April 2007

Has daylight savings affected the gravity in Perth?

Perth has recently suffered through a bout of daylight saving, which might help to explain why the traffic never moves when the lights turn green. The extra hour of daylight (or whatever it does) must have left most of the population sleep deprived, since most are clearly nodding off when they stop at the traffic lights.

We hired a 5 door Hyundai, which is really a stretched go-cart with a car radio installed. The engine capacity is somewhere around that of a jug of beer, and it couldn't pull the head off you average badly poured beer. Nonetheless, I quickly found that I was the new drag racing king of Perth, even when put up against cars that had more cylinders than I have toes.

The other effect that daylight saving might have had is that it has messed with the gravity, and if you take off too quickly, you might litterally take off (like that drilling rid thing did in "Armageddon"). Drivers have been told to tread lightly on the go pedal in case they find themselves overtaking the space shuttle in low orbit.

It's not like I am a hoon at home. I drive a 2 tonne thing that runs on diesel and is optimised for pulling sheep or tractors out of bogs, not for pulling off from the line in a cloud of shredded rubber. I didn't think I was driving any faster than usual, except when I noticed that after pulling away from one set of lights, I was through the next intersection about 300 metres away before the car beside me or behind me had cleared the intersection I had just left. If they are putting anything in the water, I can guarantee it is not Viagra.

I felt better after I heard a similar complaint from several other people. I am amazed I made it a week without blasting into the back of the car in front at the lights. I just have this thing about having the car in gear before the lights go green, so all you do is pop the clutch and move off. It's not rocket science. But it seems that in Perth, you can't pass your driving test if you leave the car in gear at the lights. In fact, it appears drivers are being taught to pull on the hand brake, turn off the ignition and take a moment to re-apply the lipstick.

If they install any more traffic lights, it will take people so long to get to work that when they get there, it will be time to drive home again.

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