Friday 2 March 2007

The horror of the harbour cruise

To West Australians, it is known as the river cruise. To us transplants here in the east, it is a harbour cruise. Whichever way you look at it, it's a horrible form of social death.

There is only one reason why the boats that are used for cruises have life jackets - it's so that the punters have something to float to shore with when they bale out half way through the cruise.

We had some overseas visitors in town tonight, and as part of the show-them-around-town trick, we went down to the Balmain wharf, which has amazing views of the Harbour Bridge and the city. They are so amazing, they are much too good for public transport. The ferry should be moved around the corner and the wharf sold off for multi million dollar harbourside apartments. If ferry commuters want a million dollar view, they can pay more for their tickets.

Bludgers.

Parasites.

So there we are at the wharf, watching the twinkling lights of the city and all that, when a well lit harbour cruise goes by. The boat was about 100 metres away, but I could clearly hear Cyndi Lauper blasting out across the water.

The horror. Being stuck on a boat all night having to listen to the greatest hits of the 1980's. I'd drink until my hearing stopped working if I was on that boat.

May they all run onto the rocks and burn to the water line.

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